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5 reasons to rub beef fat on your face.

No seriously. You haven't?

Been living under a plant-based rock, have we?

Find out why it's more important, now than ever, to get back to our roots, and our ancient love affair with animal fat that has been lost over the years.

1. Efficiency.

Obviously you want whatever the hell it is you're slathering all over your head skin everyday and night to work. Otherwise you're just slathering stuff on your head skin just to slather stuff on your head skin. Which seems silly. Let me break it down in Layman's terms why Tallow (AKA beef fat- keep up!) works, and works better than anything you've tried before.

-It's animal derived. Obviously, right. Ok, but this is important because: compatibility. Whatever is being slathered needs to... fit in. Think of your skin as a racist bigot, ok, and it doesn't want a bunch of foreigners being introduced every day. It doesn't want different. It wants LIKE. and while this usually translates to hatred, violence and war among humans, it's actually a great strategy for your skin. Your skin knows what it needs, and if you give it something other than what it needs, it will become violent and angry, just like rioting humans. Saturated fat, monounsaturated fat, proteins, and vitamins A, D, E, and K are all vital to skin health and integrity. Unlike most plant oil based moisturizers, Tallow has all of these in abundance. Because Tallow fits in with your skin cells so well, it absorbs rather quickly, without leaving a greasy film. It goes on silky, traps in all the moisture and vitamins so they can do their thing, and leaves you a smooth, clean surface for turning the world on.

2. Safety.

This is my favorite part. The part where I get to talk mad shit about toxic chemicals.

So like, WHAT IS UP with these bitch ass skincare companies charging you an arm and a leg for some toxin laden product that in the end, speeds up ageing through over toxicity in the body and throwing your whore-moans all out of whack?! They use fragrances derived from the pits of hell- and if that's too exaggerative for you, then we can go with a literal example, like the anal glands of small mammals. Yes, they scrape anal glands from small mammals and thats where that delightful scent you're trying to turn your man on with comes from (or woman, hey no judement. What am i, a bigoted skin cell?). They use preservatives that do the same thing to your body as they do to the product- kill life and essentially pickle you from the inside out. What are you, a dead body preparing for your wake?! Outta here with that! Water. Ok, no beef fat with water, however, it is a little two-faced whore for pretending its not quadrupling the volume of your product and not adding any actual benefits. These things also fall under the category of xenoestrogens. This means they act as estrogen in your body, throwing a wrench in your hormoneostasis. Yea I just made that word up, would you have known if I didn't tell you? Throwing your hormones out of whack isn't fun for anybody. Shark week all year, anyone? That'll send the guys running for the hills, if anything will. Another thing found in most plant-based skincare is rancid oils. Since most of these oils being used are polyunsaturated, this means they are unstable, and are capable of creating free radicals, which can cause skin damage/cancer. A connection very few people are making. The saturated/stable fat in Tallow is much more protective and nourishing.

Tallow Products (at least the ones you find at will never contain any of these heartbreakers in disguise. Your skin knows better, you know better, the manufacturers of these nasty products come from know better. But hey, they're still raking in millions upon millions of unsuspecting victims dollars. Acknowledge your stockholm syndrome, and ditch those dangerous smell-TOO-good products that have been holding your best self captive!

3. Sustainability.

Let me guess, you believe the environment is important, and you don't want your kids raising their own children in a smog filled, grassless, treeless world where asthma is a side effect of living. You selfish prick.

Let's think about sustainability and what we've been told by the mainstream (which God save your soul if you still participate in the fear cult that IS watching mainstream media) We are told that going vegan saves the world and cow farts are more dangerous than, like billions of motor vehicles lining the earthways.

Little do these people discuss a little something called regenerative agriculture. This takes the cows out of the disgusting, cramped, unnatural factory farms where they suffer in ill health from unnatural, GMO grain feed, and puts them back where they belong; the green pastures of the world, frolicking in the sun and chewing the cud all day long. It creates healthy cows, healthy soil, and healthy people, as well as neutrilizing their carbon footprint on the world. It creates vitamin and omega 3 fatty acid rich Tallow, and supports the local environment. While many plant oils usually come from across the world, and from highly unsustainable practices in remote places where the people are already struggling to thrive in their every day lives, ruining forests and harming the local wildlife. Of course this doesn't speak for all the plant-oil industry, and there are indeed sustainable ways to procure them, its just probably not how most products on the shelves got their source. If you are going to go with plant oils, at least make sure they didn't burn down a village to get them to you.

4. Simplicity.

I wonder if people in the olden days walked around with saggy skin in their 30's because they didn't have a product with 100 ingredients from around the world in their bathroom cabinet. Probably not.

In fact, the ancient beauty rituals often included what was right in their backyard. You guessed it, animal fat. I believe the Earth provides with everything we need, in relatively the form we need it. We didn't need a lab to create wonderful skincare. We needed facts, and tried and true ingredients that have zero ability to harm you. There is only what you need, nothing more, nothing less. No fancy sounding chemicals that would warrant a triple dollar sign price tag. Just the ingredients you need to build beautiful, glowing skin. Ingredients your baby could pronounce (and yes, of course you can use it on your babies)

5. Cost.

Support small businesses, right? Not only do we give you fair prices, we quite literally can't screw you over, because we know you could ruin our lives with one facebook tag. We charge you for what you are getting. Quality. Time. Effort. Research. Integrity. Things a huge company will never be able or even want to give you. Their bottom line is their top dollar. Whatever corners they can cut in quality to be able to squeeze as much juice out of you as they can, they will cut. And it doesn't matter, because the money spent on advertising supercedes common sense and research and hey, even bad results people see, but still. keep. buying. Simply because of the name. Ever thought, maybe someone that KNOWS your name, is the name brand to give your money to? Just sayin, if we want a better world, we have to create it. This happens through local economics, and independence from the rat race and corporate matrix we live in. In short, beef fat is certainly not the one to break your bank.

So what say you? Was this convincing enough to take the leap or should i retire my writing and get back to slingin burgers in the doghouse? Just kidding, I would go be homeless on the beach. SLATHERED in the good stuff, of course.

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